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In politics, a piss today can make or
unmake you tomorrow
Obibinii Paa-Kwasi
If my comprehension of the Queen’s language is anything to go by
then pissing to me is just another word for urinating. In fact I
wonder how anybody can be him or herself without a piss or two
everyday. This points out to the fact that as humans as we are
pissing is an integral part of our daily activities in order to
keep us going. Hence I don’t see why any reasonable person would
deny himself [herself] from pissing thus unless that person
wants to destroy his [her] bladder or life on the whole and it
would be ridiculous for anyone to do that.
Someone may ask; why all these thoughts about pissing. My answer
to that person is simple thus for the past few months the word
“pissing” seems to be walking majestically on the corridors of
our political scene and I don’t think that it [pissing] would be
walking away any time soon. Indeed we are all witnesses to the
“Art of Pissing” that is gradually being used by both
politicians in government and those in opposition. Although many
may say that it is a very good development in our politics; we
must be smart to know that it comes with its own challenges. And
if these challenges are not well handled they can make or unmake
our various political parties in this country [i.e. NDC, NPP,
CPP, PNC and the others].
Though some are busy pissing at the right place with the right
intentions; others are just pissing at the wrong place with the
wrong intentions not forgetting those who are forcing themselves
to piss just because they’ve seen others who’re pissing being
praised. In fact people are pissing from all angles to all
corners of their political territories forgetting that the awful
smells that come out of their own pisses can be used against
them by their opponents when it is necessary. I am not saying
that people shouldn’t piss just because others would use it
against them but they must piss strategically so as to avoid
giving their opponents unnecessary weapons that would be used in
firing at them when the “political war” is at its climax. Well,
pissing in politics is an art and until we learn some of its
basic rules thus we are likely to goof whenever we do it.
Pissing strategically in politics is just like the normal
pissing [i.e. urinating] thus most at times similar rules apply.
In view of this let us take a critical look at a few points that
everyone needs to consider when he or she feels like pissing:
(A) WHO AM I: This raises the question of the kind of person you
are; that is whether you are a carefully behaved person or a
carelessly behaved one? It also poses the question of your
status in the society and if it has any influence on how you do
your things or not? For instance a carelessly behaved person
wouldn’t mind pissing on the streets in the full glare of
passersby; all in his quest to satisfy his [her] pissing desire.
Again a person [i.e. Lawyer or Security Officer or any other
person] who wouldn’t allow his [her] status in a society to
influence his sense of judgment would also be more than willing
to park his car at the side of the streets and piss on his [her]
car tyre; all in his [her] quest to satisfy the pissing desire.
Hence the above mentioned people in their quest to piss would
not be willing to go round asking people of direction to the
nearest urinal at their current location thus because to them
pissing anywhere is okay; after all a piss is a piss thus it is
natural and everybody does it. On the other hand people who are
carefully behaved and think that their status in the society
matters a lot would go round till they find themselves a good
place to piss. In the same view when it comes to our political
parties there are people who would piss carelessly or carefully
by either taking into consideration their status in their party
or not; in their quest to piss. For instance if a stalwart
politician within a political party decides to make the art of
pissing carelessly his [her] hobby; it may send the wrong
signals to the ordinary members [foot-soldiers] and this could
have a negative implication on that party regardless of the fact
that his [her] piss might have being necessary. Therefore
anytime you feel like pissing just ask yourself this simple
question of who you are and after quietly answering that
question you can go ahead to make a choice as this may inform
your choice of where, when and how to piss.
(B) IS THIS THE TIME TO PISS: Asking yourself this question
before pissing can save you from any unnecessary embarrassment.
Indeed we all have the right to piss at anytime but like any
other right it comes along with a responsibility and that
responsibility must be put into consideration anytime we want to
exercise that right. For instance I wonder how many buses would
ever get to their destination on time if all the people in it
decide to piss at anytime of their choice especially buses that
go on the longer journeys. This puts to light the fact that
timing is a necessity when it comes to the art of pissing so for
any politician to think that timing is not necessary when it
comes to the art of pissing is a way of believing in his [her]
own lies. Pissing at the wrong time can make you look ridiculous
regardless of the fact that you may have had a good reason for
pissing.
(C) WHY AM I PISSING: In fact the intention behind the pissing
is also an integral part of the pissing art. For instance during
my Senior Secondary School days I saw people intentionally
pissing on the beds and in the bathing waters of others as a
form of revenge. Indeed this form of pissing may sound
ridiculous but that is how ridiculous people may be willing to
go in order to pay others back for something they might have
done to them. And in politics some people would be more than
willing to embark on such acts in order to pay others back thus
telling you that they also have the right to piss.
(D) IS IT RIGHT TO PISS HERE: This is where the controversy
normally comes thus is it right to piss in the open or one
should always be forced to piss in-door. My answer to this
simple question is that it depends on the situation at any given
time and at a given place or location. For instance if you are
travelling from one place to another in Ghana especially during
long journeys like from Accra to Kumasi, the probability of
stopping by the road-side in order to piss is very high. Some
people would say that you can wait till you get to a place [i.e.
a fuel or filling station] where a urinal can be found before
you piss. Then I also raise the question that how many of these
places [i.e. urinals] can be found on our roads and how decent
are these urinals and what is the level of proximity between
these places; so you see, doing it by the roadside can be
defended to some extent with this argument. However the fact of
the matter is that wrong is wrong regardless of why it was done
and a norm is a norm until it is changed. Let’s take Ghana for
instance it is an illegal norm to see people pissing on the
streets of Accra without any indication of shame on their faces
or with their posture. On the other hand you go to other
countries and you dare not spit in the streets, how much more
pissing. Hence one would be right in saying that in Ghana our
illegal norm supersedes the wrongful act thus we’ve made pissing
on streets more preferably than pissing in-doors. And until we
get serious in addressing this problem of pissing, it will
continue to exist. This brings to mind the question of; when is
it politically right for a politician to piss on his [her] own
political colleagues in an awful manner in the full glare of his
opponents even though he [she] could have done so in-doors with
the right mechanisms in place.
In actual fact there are many other points that can be
considered when it comes to this “political pissing“ such as;
what is the attitude of those who handle the urinal thus are
they receptive or not, arrogant or not, gibberish or not,
analytical or not. Not forgetting the kind of language the
pissers use on those who handle the urinal thus is it derogatory
or not and what kind of posture do they put up when they go to
piss. These and many other considerations would have to be made
in order to create a very conducive atmosphere for anyone who
wants to embark on a pissing trip. However for the sake of space
and time I think that the few points elaborated on above can
help us all to understand the “Art of Pissing” to some extent.
Now back to our political pissing, I laugh aloud anytime I hear
people making vague comparison of our politics to the likes of
the U.K and U.S without relating it to the situations within our
local terrain. For instance in the U.K or U.S their politicians
may decide to piss in public although they have a well
structured mechanism that will allow them to enjoy an in-door
pissing with all the comfort they deserve not forgetting the
fact those who even piss in public do so tactfully and
strategically. However this does not mean that our politicians
should not be allowed to piss just because there are no better
structures in place to encourage our pissing art especially in
political parties thus our politicians need to piss by applying
a little common sense. Subsequently it will be good for our
politicians to start thinking of how to put in place good
mechanisms that will ensure more in-door pissing not forgetting
putting in place guidelines to also regulate those who would
want to piss in public. Thus our democratic practitioners
[politicians] should put in place mechanisms that would
encourage all those who want to piss be it those who want to
piss in-door or those who will like to piss out-door. And to
those who think that they have the right to piss and would piss
on anybody, anyhow, anywhere and at anytime; all I can say to
them is that a piss today can make or unmake you so the earlier
they learn to piss tactfully and strategically the better for
themselves, our political parties and our country as a whole.
The Chalant “Atiglinyi”
Obibinii Paa-Kwasi
Obibiniipeekay@gmail.com
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